Instead of working on my media plan, I was thinking again. Just a min ago, I come to realize that again, I'm lying to myself. I always carry the unfulfilled feeling with me and I can't understand why. I've stopped thinking about getting rich quick, convincing myself that guys like me, when life trusts us with power and a name, we'll turn into bad kids. So it's good to live with nothing to understand the value of life. Because after all, what's good in having everything when you don't understand their true value tags.
I've chosen a simple life, but still I didn't really understand the meaning of being humble. I was copying, living in people's experiences and pretending that they are mine. I'm too smart and I've cheated myself into believing that I've come to comprehend the low key style. My motivation was only for my self-interest. I was afraid that I would have unknown enemies. The bad kid in me only saw the meaning of being quiet, humble and soft as a way to stay in the dark to observing and identifying the potential kids so that I can take them down and rise one day. It's so sad to be a bad guy, oh my god I'm a bad guy. I'm sorry I can't fix it. i know I can destroy people, especially talented people using their own thoughts. The better their brains are, the easier it's for me to get in and play with them.
I'm choosing to stay away from the dark art but I'm the dark art.
Beo Nguyen
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/self-guilt/
