Starring down the barrel of a hot bedded 45
Just wondering...
What has my life come to?
As I lean back to forget whats happened
I let up on the guns safety
Knowing theres a single round waiting in the chamber
Slowly I raise the gun...
I release my finger of the trigger guard...
Just to put it on the trigger it self
As memories fly through my mind I start to cry
Trying to figure out...
What have I done?
I realize I'm not as happy as I want to be
I press my head hard against my pillow
Still tears poor down my face
As I remember the name...
I realize I can't give up
I made promises
I intend to keep
Crying like a baby
Trying to figure out what happened last night
I slowly put the gun down
As I let up on the magazine release
The magazine hits the floor with a loud bang
Pulling hard on the slide
The bullet ejects and falls next to me
I lay staring at the ceiling
Still wondering...
What would have happened if I had pulled the trigger?
Matthew Cole
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/still-wondering/